December 16, 2005 | Funny Bits

Snow penis victim of police brutality

What's very large, hard and wet? Well, besides the obvious, there's the giant snow-penis that Jessica Sherer built in her boyfriend's front yard in New Windsor, N.Y.

Sherer sculpted the frozen erection as a joke last week. But not everyone was laughing. Apparently offended by the snow-cock, some neighbors called the police, who assumed that the frosty phallus was a child's prank.

Police visited Sherer, but when she wasn't home they decided to beat the cock themselves -- with a shovel, that is.

"We came back around 11 in the morning, and it was just a pile of snow," Sherer told the local paper. "Just some shovel marks."

While the snow has been too hard to work with this week, thanks to freezing temperatures, Sherer plans to re-erect her snow-cock when the weather warms up. And this time around, town  supervisor George Meyers says that there's not much the police can do.

"Now we're going to get snow penises popping up all over town," police chief Michael Biasotti told the Times Herald-Record.

Not to worry, New Windsor: Eventually, every hard-on melts.

• Police whack giant snow penis [Times-Herald Record]