February 8, 2006 | Sex & Society

Cover up! Now entering Oklahoma

The definition of "nude" might seem straightforward. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as "bare, naked, unclothed." An Oklahoma Republican, however, has coined a definition of her own, and she's using it to restrict free speech by sexually-oriented businesses on billboards along the state's highways.

Oklahoma State Representative Lisa J. Billy wants to prevent adult-themed businesses from advertising on billboards. Under legislation that she has recently proposed, businesses that she calls "adult cabaret" would be forbidden from any exterior advertising within one mile of any state highway.

If you think you know what constitutes an "adult cabaret," Billy's definition may surprise you! According to the conservative lawmaker, an "adult cabaret" is not just your average strip joint, but rather any "nightclub, bar, restaurant or similar establishment in which persons appear in a state of nudity in the performance of their duties."

House bill 2831 proposes a legal definition of nudity that means "any bare exposure of the skin located on the body of a person below the armpits and above the knees." By that measure, any number of scantily clad waitresses, beach-goers and athletes might be considered "nude," and their job sites, including restaurants, coffeeshops and gymnasiums, "adult cabarets."

Stay tuned for more additions to the "Shorter Okie Dictionary of the English Language" in which "sex" is defined as "a flirtatious glance" and "rape" as a "pat on the back"!

• New definition of nudity in Oklahoma [Daze Reader]
• Oklahoma - state of nudity [Okiedoke]
• Republicans redefine nudity [Hammer of Truth]