June 1, 2006 | Funny Bits

Dildo disputes

If they're lucky, dildos see lots of action. Typically, that action takes place in the bedroom. This week, however, it's taking place in the courtroom, courtesy of an odd lawsuit and an equally peculiar arrest that made the month of May a big one for rubber dicks.

First, Ananova reported on May 25 that German soccer stars Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn are suing German erotica provider Beate Uhse over a pair of dildos it named after them. The Michael B and Olli K dildos joined the David B (named for David Beckham) in a line of sex toys inspired by women's soccer fantasies. The company admits naming the dildos for the soccer studs, but adds that it omitted their last names from the products as a legal safeguard.

The phallic drama continued this week with news of a Georgia couple's arrest for stealing male enhancement pills and a "king size" rubber dildo from a local adult entertainment store. According to AVN, 29-year-olds Larry and Ashley Gargis stole the $50 dildo on May 8 and were arrested two weeks later when they returned to the scene of the crime and a store clerk recognized them.

An officer who searched their vehicle found the 9-inch cock inside a bag next to the couple's 3-year-old daughter, who was seated in a carseat in the back of the vehicle.

The story did not say whether the stolen dildo was named after a famous soccer star -- but it did say that it had been removed from its packaging -- and that the store manager declined to take back the slightly used merchandise.

• Football stars in dildo action [Ananova]
• Couple arrested with stolen sex toy [AVN]