June 23, 2006 | Funny Bits

Stare, stare, like a bear ...

Underwear is a lot of things to a lot of people. Functional, perhaps. Sexy, maybe. Clean, hopefully. In Gainesville, Fla., however, underwear is something else entirely: political. That's thanks to a local resident, who insisted the city prohibit young men from wearing pants so baggy as to show the shorts they wear beneath them.

Rosa B. Williams, chairwoman of the city's Black on Black Crime Taskforce, told Gainesville's Public Safety Committee last week that the trend of young men wearing pants below their waistline is a "disgrace" and sets a bad example, according to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune.

"Nowadays they're so low, they have to hold them up just to walk," she said. "I think it's time for the City Commission or someone to take a stand."

City commissioners were sympathetic, but said there was little they could do to cover citizens' exposed elastic.

"This kind of clothing style does not constitute indecency by any definition we have in the United States," said City Commissioner Jack Donovan, who acknowledged that several cities have considered underwear ordinances in the past, but said that all have failed due to First Amendment concerns and lack of political support.

Citizens offered several solutions to the problem of sagging drawers. One, for instance, proposed that people be required to board city buses with their hands above their heads so that they'd be compelled to tighten their belts. Another suggested that individuals who hold the crotch of their pants to keep them in place be charged for lewd behavior. Yet another wondered how such a law would apply to plumbers.

Our suggestion? Perhaps Ms. Williams and the city should focus their efforts on fighting real problems, like crack -- the drug kind, not the butt kind.

• City skips debate over exposure of undershorts [Sarasota Herald-Tribune]