September 17, 2006 | Funny Bits

Pumps in public

It's been a busy week for penis pumps; they've been making headlines across the globe the last few days as they caused a rash of embarrassment for men who've been caught with them in public places and situations.

First, in the United Kingdom, a Slovak driver was caught with his pants down Tuesday after crashing into a bus. The man was pulled from his car unconscious and half-naked; attached to his cock, according to The Register, was none other than a penis pump.

"It's very likely he had auto-sex while driving: it is a matter of investigation," said a police officer on the scene. "After the accident he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it [the pump] was placed on his penis."

Meanwhile, in Chicago, an Iraqi man was cleared Wednesday of disorderly conduct charges that stemmed from an airport incident in which he was busted with a penis pump in his luggage.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Mardin Amin was passing through airport security with his mother and children at O'Hare Airport when a security officer removed a small, rubber object from his luggage. While Amin very quietly tried to explain to the officer what it was, the guard thought he heard, "I have a bomb," and had him arrested.

Amin, 29, told his mother that the object was a basketball pump. He was charged with a felony and would have faced up to three years in prison if charges had not been dropped this week. Asked if he would travel with the pump again, he said, "Hell no. That pump give me a lot of trouble."

If these pumps actually worked maybe they'd be worth the hassle!

• Penis pump driver crashes into bus [The Register]
• Charges dropped in O'Hare penis pump scare [Chicago Sun-Times]