May 1, 2007 | Funny Bits

Suffering from tofu-dick?

Singapore’s Society for Men’s Health and a drug company are proposing a consumer-friendly way for men with erectile dysfunction to rate their own hardness: cucumber being the firmest, followed by unpeeled banana, peeled banana and tofu.

“Men should aim for this,” U.K. sex therapist Victoria Lehmann told a news conference, waving a cucumber.

The scale has not yet been accepted by any medical authority and does seem a trifle unscientific. After all, bananas can be rock hard, or quite mooshy, depending on their ripeness. And wouldn't most men feel ashamed to compare their dicks to a piece of pale, limp tofu as opposed to a  prize-winning cucumber?

• Guys, are you a cucumber or a banana? [msnbc]