October 19, 2007 | Funny Bits

The neverending story

Yes, we know: some of you are tired of our favorite little restroom senator, Larry Craig. But he just won't go away. And every time he opens his mouth little bits of comedic gold fall out. What is a blog to do?

The most recent Craig sighting was during his first televised interview with Matt Lauer from NBC. The senator offered his spin on what really happened that dark dark day in an airport restroom.

First, why was he waving his hand under the restroom stall? "Something attracted my attention. So I looked down... and as I looked down I saw a piece of toilet paper on the floor. And it happened to be under my heel... I reached down to take it off my shoe or out from under my shoe and my hand did go below the divider at that moment in time."

The police reported, however, that Craig's hand reached under the stall palm up. We think the officer simply failed to take into account the powerful toilet paper magnet at the back of Craig's hand.

And what of Craig's wife?

She sat by his side and offered some powerful testimony to support his "straight male not gay male" claims. When confronted with accusations that another man claimed to have seen Craig's mini-senator, she responded, "I knew immediately it was not the truth because the description he gave of Larry in some areas that only I might know about were wrong... on three counts."

 Hmmm, maybe we should let the professionals tackle this one...