March 3, 2008 | Sex & Society

Don't touch that!

It is now a criminal offence to touch your willy in public in Italy, even with your pants on.

This not only includes a ban on scratching and adjusting your genitals, but also puts an end to the Italian tradition of quickly grabbing your "attributi" when a hearse passes or talk turns to a terrible illness or disaster. You'll have to wait until you are in private to touch your privates.

The decision by Italy's highest appeals court was in response to a case involving a 42-year-old workman from Como near Milan. Back in May 2006, he was convicted of indecent behavior because he couldn't stop grabbing himself through his clothing. His lawyer argued he was touching himself  "probably" to adjust his overalls."

The court, however, saw any form of self groping "as an act contrary to public decency, a concept including that nexus of socio-ethical behavioural rules requiring everyone to abstain from conduct potentially offensive to collectively-held feelings of decorum."

The workman was ordered to pay a €200 fine and cover €1000 in court costs. Yikes! That's one way to keep the crotch grabbing behind closed doors.